swear it takes like 2 days to put on weight and 20 years to lose it
Michael Jackson tells Bubbles the chimp in sign language to sit the fuck down and stop stealing sips of his tea.
That’s the most gangsta thing I’ve ever seen.
if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
I think that if they make abortion illegal, they should make men deserting women who they got pregnant illegal as well. Because if a woman can’t back out of a pregnancy a man shouldn’t be able to either.
Jimmy reads his favorite fan-submitted #AwkwardBreakup tweets!
"Neither of us knew what to do so we high fived"
That break up ended kind of nice, right? Everyone loves a high five.
do you ever put on a really nice but kind of daring outfit and at first you’re like “HELL YEAH” but then you look in the mirror a few times and start being like “hell… yeah….” and then you turn to the side and adjust the top and frown and be like “aw hell” and finally just change into like jeans and a tee bc one day you will wear that rockin outfit but today is not that day
This is the saddest and accurate thing I have ever read.
is ur music ever so loud u feel like ur suffocating
update: i was having an asthma attack
i would take naps in forests every day if bugs didnt exist
♫ it’s going down, i’m yelling Simba ♫
IT’S BEEN 20 YEARS
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS BEEN 20 YEARS
oh my god
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